Monday, February 23, 2009

moments, part one

Someone that didn't work at 7-11 once said that life is made of moments. Since that is the case, I've decided to put together a handful of moments that have meant something to me. I have a hunch that, as my life passes before my eyes before I walk through the tunnel of light, some of these will appear before me. Some are real simple, and to me that's quite alright.

Obviously, there are many more, I just went with 20 (not so) random ones...maybe this will be a continuing series.

- My first stage moment, narrating the Thanksgiving Play at Bovard Elementary School. I was a natural stage presence.

- Playing strikeout with my brother in the backyard of my grandmother's house with a wiffleball bat filled with newspaper and covered with electrical tape.

- Standing in the boy's bathroom of Franklin Elementary School, wearing a Lynn Swann jersey, laughing at the joke the assistant gym coach said as I am staring in the mirror at my nose that I just broke, tears and blood rolling down my face. I had just run into a pole. Maybe even at 12 I knew the comedy of the moment.

- Striking out Rhett Tigner on three pitches in little league after my brother left the game after going 3-0 on him. Nobody was hitting my curveball that day.

- Standing at the podium in junior high school, giving my speech for class vice president (wearing a different wide receiver's jersey, coincidentally - my brother's Harold Carmichael Eagles' jersey), and the crowd starting a "HU-GUS" chant. I won that election, thankfully.

- Junior High School again, not realizing that I was the only person that didn't know that everyone knew that I had a crush on Katie Stone, including Katie. Never write a secret admirer note that gives away an obvious clue, such as that I am a twin, unless you are able to step up and admit it.

- First kiss, Lisa S. But she kissed everyone. Maybe that's why she was pregnant at 19.

- Visiting my dad's house in the summer, playing Hide and Seek over the whole block, the sun desperately trying to stay up. It lost, but it would make up for it the next day.

- At my junior high school with Josh the day before life as high school students began, both on our bikes, both scared as shit and frighteningly philosophical.

- Lying on the floor in the dark listening to records as a teenager. For some reason, kids think that they're the only ones that do this, like they're deep or something.

- Another bored moment in Pennsylvania, pretending to do espionage on the corner of third street, wearing my grandfather's army jacket. Mark wore a helmet and shades and sat a suitcase next to me. He left, then I walked away. People just thought we were on drugs.

- Walking into a junior's party as seniors with a Sparklett's bottle and stealing half the beer and leaving.

- Sitting at the desk and wanting to crawl under it when I told 39 of the prettiest girls in school (and one ugly one) my phone number and only the ugly one wanted to write it down. As a matter of fact, I did crawl under it.

- A soccer field, a baseball jacket, and a stomach full of butterflies.

- One block of the Promenade when Heather and I successfully acted like boyfriend and girlfriend. That was an incredibly brief moment that did not last, but it was a very nice one.

- Driving to Vegas with my brother after being bored at a Melrose party, getting there at 2:30, gambling for two hours, and driving back home. It was worth it.

- Running naked down the track when the White Sox won the World Series. Let me amend that. I wore a white sock.

- Wilco at the Wiltern, blasting through "Misunderstood", Jeff Tweedy yelling the word "NOTHING" for the 15th time.

- Sitting on a roof, drinking a glass of wine, boombox on the side, reconciling.

- The Arcade Fire making me realize that more was happening at that very moment than I will ever understand, and that someone might just be looking down at me.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

ladies and gentlemen, the "gawdawful" has begun

Anyone who knows me knows that I have a gambling streak in me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not the type to lose rent and food money while betting it all on a a roulette table. I like little bets, fun bets, something to add a little excitement to an otherwise boring day. Thankfully, there are people in my office who have the same desire for excitement as I do, especially my friend, David. We bet on golf putts, television reality shows (I've got three of the four remaining girls on "The Bachelor", and I don't even watch), which person is going to embarrass themselves at the company function, etc., etc., and usually for a few bucks. A few of the other people in the office join in on occasion, and no one has lost anything more than a few dollars and the shame of losing to an obnoxious winner.

Anyway, I'm at the pharmacy tonight, waiting for a prescription of steroids for my cough (it's a Herculean cough, therefore, need the Barry Bonds). I'm standing there, and I see medical scrubs for $8.99. My mom is a nurse, and when I was a kid I'd swipe some of her scrub shirts to sleep in, as they are surprisingly comfortable. So I'm looking at them, and I come across one of the ugliest shirts I have ever seen in my life. Let's just say that it is a medical scrub shirt with playful cartoon puppies on it. And, to top it off, they have it in the size of XXL.

Immediately, I decide to call David. "I've got this incredibly ugly shirt here - we need to work it into a bet." He agreed, naturally, but he didn't go for the bet where one of us would have to wear it to work (you see, he's a man of "high standing" at our company, reminding me that I am a menial lackey). Therefore, we decided that someone will be wearing this shirt at our next golf tournament that we hold annually for a good cause, the Cesar Morales Needs Help Growing A Mustache Foundation for the Criminally Hairless. 

I'm not going to put the shirt up here...yet. I'll save it for when the "winner" gets the honor of wearing it. I wore pajamas last year on the course, so this shirt isn't going to bother me too much, but it really is an ugly, ugly shirt. I haven't figured a bet out, but what I'm thinking is a random raffle, and the person that gets the winning number wins a small amount of money, but in return has to wear the shirt (and if they don't, they have to pay double back. I call this "The Gawdawful". I welcome your comments if you have a way to improve this bet.