My Latest Batch of Psychic Predictions

In tribute to the Christopher Walken character he played on SNL, Ed Glosser, Trivial Psychic, I have this habit of doing psychic predictions, usually around two in the morning. Here are last evening's results:

• A kid will be bored by a trip to the aquarium; their mother will be disappointed in the kid's lack of imagination.
• Someone will bring home Toaster Strudels instead of Pop Tarts. Reaction: "Now, those aren't Pop Tarts, ARE THEY?" 
• The number of those dying nobly will lose, once again, to those surviving ignobly, by a large margin.
• A homeless person will come up with a clever sign that will briefly increase donations for a few hours.
• Someone will misspell "definitely" and "weird" in same sentence: this will be enough to keep me from dating them. 
• A man will lament loss of Borders store, not because they read - that's where they went to the bathroom when at the mall. 
• A teenage girl will buy a cute eraser at Japanese novelty shop; it will never be used to erase anything.
• Owner will name racehorse cloyingly cute name; it will give horse low self-esteem, and it will never win.
• An old pervert will make subway passengers uncomfortable by talking about how much he misses panty hose, out loud. 
• Someone will regret asking the question, "So, how did you get that nickname?"